


Welcome to the MIX

by creepypaola



Series: Welcome to the MIX [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb is a little shit, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Heist, I'll add tags as we go, No Spoilers, No proofreading we die like i medici, Sort Of, Spies & Secret Agents, but i missed them, fjord is clueless, havent seen the show in months idek whats going on anymore, hope i'll actually finish this one, i had it in my draft for a year and im tired, its apparently the only thing i can come up with lately, jester is a little shit, not too ship oriented its really just a heist fic with a bet, theres a lot of banter, they are mercenaries in this one, wink wink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepypaola/pseuds/creepypaola
Summary: The gentleman strides across the room and picks up the chair toppled behind the desk and drops down, propping his feet on the table. There are books, folders and sheets of paper scattered all around, shards of glass and a few bottles laying on the floor, broken. A pair of daggers are stuck on the wall behind, drips of blood trickling down from the blades. The place looks like a mess, more than the usual, but they know better than to ask questions whose answers they can figure out by themselves.“So. There are some gifts of yours that I might need.”
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Series: Welcome to the MIX [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760017
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. The call.

**Author's Note:**

> No spoilers in this one, as i havent caught up with the show since last august.  
> Set in the same universe of _You got two black eyes_ but can be read as a stand alone.

_Snap_

_Snap_

_Snap_

“If you trigger the fire alarm again Caleb, I swear to g-”

The small candle-like fire that had been appearing and disappearing between his fingers goes out again. Caleb turns his head in the direction where Beau is sitting --as much as being sprawled like that in the armchair can be considered sitting-- and grins.

_Snap._

The flame between his thumb and his middle finger is cut in a half when a dagger flies across the room in a swift motion.

“Play nice.” Yasha half threatens her as she approaches the couch Caleb is currently lying on and yanks out the blade stuck in the wall next to him. “Both of you.” she adds with a raised eyebrow aimed at him before throwing the knife behind her back. She turns just in time to see Beau lazily raising her arm and catching it with a smug smile and a wink.

He raises his hands as a surrender before putting them both behind his head and closing his eyes with a sigh. “So, why are we here again?”

“He was pretty vague actually.” Caleb imperceptibly tilts his head towards the door from which Fjord has just come in. “Sorry I’m late. I got - _ah_ ” he winces as he pops his shoulder back in place with a loud _knock_. There’s a bit of blood on his knuckles, and probably on his jacket too but the black of leather does a good job at hiding it. “I got caught up upstairs.”

“You could have yelled if you needed help, Fjord.” Jester shifts her focus from braiding Nott’s hair and smugly looks at him.

“Yeah, green man. You needed a hand?”

“Oh Nott, don’t be rude! He can be strong when he wants.”

Fjord narrow his eyes at the grinning goblin perched on Jester’s armrest for a couple of seconds before walking towards the couch. Caleb, still smirking at the exchange, raises his legs as Fjord sits on the other end of the sofa, before lowering them again on the half-orc’s thighs.

“Anyway. He just said that there was a new job and a not ordinary pay at the other end of the deal.” He leans back and cracks his neck left and right a couple of times, a few blood spots peeking out from under his turtleneck, “I actually thought you’d be inside already and that I’d have to burst into a window or something.”

“That won’t be necessary, Fjord.”

They all snap their heads towards the other door in the room; the Gentleman is leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed across his chest.

“Sorry I kept you waiting. There was some business I had to deal with.” Everyone nods and pretend not to see the dark red specks on his half opened white shirt. “Now, if you want to follow me.”

He turns and starts walking down the black hallway from whence he came. The group stands up and leaves the room, Jester and Nott excitingly leading them forward, Caduceus, Yasha and Beau following right behind.

“Everything went alright?” Fjord turns his head towards Caleb’s voice on his right, their shoulders brushing against each other as they walk.

“Peachy as always.” he smiles down at the human next to him and raises an eyebrow. “Where there any doubts?”

Caleb’s gaze quickly drifts between his eyes and his lips, his sky-blue irises shining in the shadow, as if electricity was running through them.

“Never.” He smiles, before licking his thumb and wiping away a few drops of blood from Fjord’s cheek. “You always make it work, don’t you?”

The wizard grins at him once more and then speeds ahead toward Beau and pretends to be hurt when she punches him in the arm, but even steps behind Fjord can hear Caleb’s laugh as he drapes an arm across her shoulders in a loose side hug.

“Drinks? Anyone?” the voice carries over the Gentleman shoulder has he pours something dark and thick into a glass and downs it in one swig before pouring another one. Jester, Nott and Beau flop onto the couch beside the table at the center of the room, as Caduceus sits in the chair next to them.

“No one?” he raises a glass towards Fjord and Caleb, now standing behind the couch. “No?” he shrugs and empties the second glass too when Yasha slightly shakes her head from where she’s leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed.

“Well, straight to the point then.”

He strides across the room and picks up the chair toppled behind the desk and drops down, propping his feet on the table. There are books, folders and sheets of paper scattered all around, shards of glass and a few bottles laying on the floor, broken. A pair of daggers are stuck on the wall behind, drips of blood trickling down from the blades. The place looks like a mess, more than the usual, but they know better than to ask questions whose answers they can figure out by themselves.

“So. There are some gifts of yours that I might need.”

\---

It had been a while from the first time that they had heard that phrase. Two, maybe three years, at least. At the time they needed money, and a friend of a friend of a friend knew how to earn a few coins by getting their hands dirty. They usually worked by themselves, but it would not have been the first time that they had taken up this kind of job, and the mercenary work usually paid well, so they accepted.

Their first meeting almost ended in blood, of course.

A couple of days after that encounter, Jester had somehow found a gold coin one of her pockets -they still didn’t know how that happened- with some coordinates engraved on the golden surface. The location had changed multiple times in the following years, spies and traitors were everywhere and everyone with an ounce of common sense would find it wiser to avoid running an underground organization continuously from the same place anyway, but they were all pretty much the same inside: the typical sketchy, barely lit pub, sometimes a diner or a restaurant, always crowded and very, very loud. _Luckily_ very loud, considering what was happening underneath.

The first time they had walked through the backdoor, they had been surprised both by the lack of guards demanding them to remove any sort of weapon, and the absence of the typical magic-blocking spells they had found in similar places. Clearly, everyone there was there for a reason, one that everyone knew but was never spoken out loud, and everyone was perfectly capable of defending themselves, or had to be ready to at any given time.

The stairs lead down to an actually well-lit room, the walls painted with an unnerving shade of white that seemed to never get dirty, black leather couches and armchairs placed on the perimeter of the space.

“What is this, a waiting room?” Beau had commented the first time, “I swear my dentist has the same damn coffee table.”

“Well, considering how many teeth get punched out every night here, it seems appropriate, doesn’t it?”

At the time, their well trained self-preservation instincts had all of them reach for their respective daggers and guns and whatnot hidden in the sleeves and pockets of their jackets and coats. No one liked to be surprised, especially in a context like that one.

“Oh, I would recommend you not to do that. I am sure you are all very skilled and capable, you would not be here otherwise, but it would be a very foolish move. Trust me.”

The Gentleman was watching them from the door, black slick hair and teal blue skin, piercing eyes scanning all of them.

“Now, if you’d be so gentle to follow me please.” 

No one had moved at first, not until his voice carried down the hallway again, “Come on! I don’t have all day.” At that point they all glanced at each other and trailed a couple steps behind, heading in the same direction and walking into another room. Still well lit, with a desk on the opposite side of the door and a bookshelf right behind, it was mainly occupied by a large low black table at the center of the room and other couches and chairs distributed around it; a liquor cabinet was placed against the wall on their right, and apparently nothing else was there.

“Here are new friends! Please, take a seat. We have a lot of new, exciting things to talk about!” and then, with a smug grin “ _There are some gifts of yours that I might need._ ”

And so it had started and so it went every next meeting, just with gradually less tension filling the room and more drinks over time.

\---

“As you might have heard, there’s a gala happening soon at the Wildemount estate. A very fancy party hosted and attended by very fancy people. Fancy, rich, powerful people.” As the words leave the Gentleman’s mouth, a hologram appears above the table at the center, showing floor plans of the manor and the gardens surrounding the building. A neat trick they had seen multiple times by now, but one that never failed to light up Jester’s eyes. “Same old, same old. We’ve all been there, nothing new. One guest in particular has caught my attention, though.” With a flick of his fingers the blueprints leave space to photos of an old man, probably in his sixties, silver grey hair and a deep scar across his left eye, down to his cheek. “Now, this man showed up at the mansion in the middle of the night a couple of days ago: no one has ever seen him before and, unfortunately, my men-” he leans back with his right arm and frees the blades from the wall behind him before throwing them clattering on the desk with a sigh, “- _my men_ weren’t able find out his name. From his accent, he appears to be from the capital, and has arrived here with only a suitcase with some peculiar runes carved on it.”

Photos of the man getting off an airplane appears on the screen, a couple of them zoomed on the gold sigils on the case’s black leather.

“Abjuration.” Everyone’s gaze darts to where Caleb is standing with a focused expression on his face studying the symbols, gears clearly turning inside his head.

“ _Ding, ding, ding!_ We have a winner.” A grin spreads on the Gentleman’s face “Now what could that possibly be concealing? My guess, given the secretiveness and the ranks of the people involved, is that it might be related to the presumed calamity-era artifacts stolen from the coast a couple of weeks ago, or to the whispers of new successful experiments regarding other planes and realms happening behind the Academy’s secret doors. Anyhow, it must be awfully expensive because, one day prior to his arrival, a large sum was deposited by an anonymous donor into the Wildemounts accounts. Whoever it is, whatever that is, you must find out, and retrieve it.”

“Didn’t know you had a beef with them. Didn’t we do a job for that family, like, six months ago?” Beau chimes in, narrowing her eyes at the Gentleman, now leaning back his chair on two legs.

“I do not, as a matter of fact, have a _beef_ with them, but I don’t need new unknown players joining my game.”

She hums, “Fair.”

A usb drive flies across the room into Notts hands as she jumps and catches it midair, smirking at Beau’s offended face as the monk lowers her arm.

“You can find the rest on the files inside. I’m sure _you_ won’t let me down.”

Caduceus stands, smiles at the man, and starts walking towards the door before Jester’s voice stops him “Woah Cad, where are you going?”

“ _Well,_ ” he turns and gently smiles at her, “considering that the gala is tomorrow night, I believe we have quite the planning to do.”

A series of _What?!_ fills the room as they all stare back at the Gentleman, his features fixed in an undecipherable expression on the cleric’s face on the other side of the room. His chair slams forward and hits the floor with a sharp noise as he sits upright and rests his elbows on the desk.

“ _Well_ , I believe that won’t be a problem for you, will it now?” His voice is calm, and the air gets thick with unspoken threats. He smiles at the silence that has settled into the room and stands again, turning his back to the group to face the bookshelf behind. “Plus, I think the payment will fix any inconvenience.”

With a faint _click_ the shelves shift to the side, revealing a dim space behind it. With a _snap_ the white neon lights on the roof brighten the inside as the Gentleman steps across the threshold. He walks in and leans against one of the tables at the center of the room, arms crossed, looking at the group still on the other side.

“So?”

They cautiously approach the chamber and walk inside: shelves run across every wall, the ones on the left side crammed with daggers, knives, throwing stars, arrows and guns and other firearms, the right one packed with vials and bottles accurately arranged by color. Inside the opened closets at the end of the room, suits, armors, helmets, and other gear are neatly stacked. He gestures at the equipment that fills the place and speaks again.

“Please, be my guests, weapons and potions are kindly offered by the house this time. I cannot allow some of my best uhm, _friends_ , to get hurt on the job anymore, I think you have earned it by now. Oh, and also,” He looks at Caleb and tilts his head towards the end of the room before heading there and lifting the carpet that covers the floor: Caleb watches as he reveals a round sigil engraved on the ground in front of the cabinets, runes and symbols meticulously carved in and filled with what seems like platinum or silver. There are some red streaks that looks pretty recent, _too recent_ , and Caleb’s nose prickles with the smell of iron, but he says nothing.

“I believe transportation won’t be a problem anymore.” He lets the carpet fall back down onto the pavement and stares at the rest of the party, lifting an eyebrow. “Of course, when needed. Expensive stuff for expensive jobs, but even the supply has its limits. What you do not use, you bring back. If something goes unexplainably missing, believe me, I’ll know.”

He reaches for a duffle bag on the floor and places it on the table, unfastening the zip and barely showing the stack of cash inside. “This should be enough to cover the expenses of whatever you’ll need to merge with the people at the gala. There is an invite inside: it’s for a single guest and a plus one. Unfortunately, I do not have seven of them, but I believe forgery to be the least of the problems at this point.” He winks at Jester and closes the bag again.

“Oh, and one more thing.” He turns and removes something from a safe hidden behind the closet’s wood panels. He places a black leather case on the counter and slowly opens it: three diamonds are shining bright against the dark velvet that lines the inside. “It’s not enough for everyone, but I’m confident you are capable enough that there will be no need to pay a visit to the gods on the other side. Still, who knows how these things might go. Consider this a job insurance.” He closes the box abruptly and squints at the tiefling and the rogue slowly leaning towards it. “I’d sure prefer it for me and for you to get them back.”

“You will.” Fjord says as he side-glances the duo and reaches for the case, placing it inside the bag before throwing it is over his shoulder.

“Good.” He grins again, “Then I consider this meeting concluded. The equipment is already waiting for you outside, I am sure that it will cover any of your needs and tastes. If you require anything else, you know where to find me.”

He walks them back to the white room where three black bags are already gathered on the floor. Yasha, Beau and Caduceus carefully pick one each up.

“Good luck.” The Gentleman smiles once more and makes his way back to his office, “Do not disappoint me!” He shouts over his shoulder before slamming the door shut behind him.

They remain quiet for a moment before Beau spatters out “ _What the f-_ ”. Yasha promptly shuts her mouth with a hand and whispers “Up. Later.” Beau stares baffled at her for a moment before rolling her eyes and starts heading towards the door that opens into the pub.

Before she can open it, Caleb grabs her shoulder and pulls her back.

“Hey man, what the hell?!”

“Wait, give me a second.” He mutters a few words and with a light tap, the bags become invisible. “Now we can go.”

She rolls her eyes at Jester’s high pitched “ _Sweet!_ ” and dives into the inn and then into the parking outside.

As soon as they get out there are two yelled _SHOTGUN!_ as Jester and Nott both sprint towards the black car Caleb has just opened. He approaches the suv grinning at the goblin now sitting in the front seat flipping off the tiefling on the other side of the window. Jester fakes a pout for a moment before slowly turning towards Caleb, a roguish look in her eyes “Then I’ll drive!”

There’s a chorus of “ _No._ ” from the rest of the group as she rolls her eyes and take a seat in the back between Yasha and Caduceus. Fjord carefully places the duffle bags in the trunk and slams it close before coming up to Caleb, now sitting behind the wheel with his is elbow resting on the rolled down window. “All packed, you can go”

Caleb hums, “See you at the safe house then.” And then louder, smirking at Beau “Try not to die you two. We just got those fixed.” He drives away as Jester yells from the backseat “Byyee Fjordy!” and suddenly there’s music blasting from the speakers.

Fjord watches them disappear behind the corner with a puzzled expression on his face until Beau whistles and looks at him with a mischievous smile “Drinks are on the last one. Usual rules apply.”

Before she can even finish speaking, there is a helmet on her head and in the blink of an eye she’s already speeding off on her bike.

_Of course._

Fjord shakes his head and grabs his own helmet. He jumps on his bike and relishes rumble of the engine underneath him.

_Game on._


	2. The plan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Caduceus steps in and pats Caleb’s shoulder “We’ll assemble the rest of the gear in the meantime. Usual getup?”_
> 
> _“Yeah, maybe it’s better to bring the we-don’t-know-what-are-we-dealing-with getup.” Nott snorts “I don’t wanna get my hands cut off while I try to pick a lock.”_
> 
> _Caleb walks to her and ruffles her hair with a smile “No one is going to lose any limb, I swear.” ___
> 
> _  
>   
>  _
> 
> _  
> _The gang comes up with a plan._  
>  _

Fjord slows down and waits for the gates to open. He parks the motorcycle outside the garage and smirks, not seeing Beau’s anywhere near. He starts walking towards the entrance when he spots two black cars and a bike that definitely do not belong to any of them. There is a loud crash coming from the inside, like something shattering, followed by a scream. With a subtle flick of wrist, he summons the falchion in his right hand and slowly reaches for the gun strapped to his left thigh. He takes a couple of steps toward the car near the door, when he hears the sound of gravel shifting in the driveway behind his back; he swiftly turns and blindly points the falchion at the throat of the figure now facing him. Caleb is there, his chin slightly raised and a playful smirk on his lips.

“Careful there.” he raises one hand and carefully lowers the falchion away from his throat down to fjord’s side “I know I haven’t shaved in a while, but this seems a bit extreme.”

“Shit.” Fjord mutters. He dismisses the blade into its pocket dimension and slips his gun back into his holster before pointing backward, “What are those? And what the hell is going on inside?”

Caleb drapes his left arm across his shoulder and walks him up the steps in front of the main entrance. “ _Those_ were already there when we arrived. A gift from the Gentleman, I suppose. As for the noise,” he opens the door and steps alone inside, and Fjord thinks that maybe right side feels a little colder now “I don’t know, but that’s never too surprising here.”

The wizard shrugs his shoulders and starts walking towards the main room when he stops and turns again. “Oh, and Beauregard said to tell you, and I quote, _to kiss her ass_. She’s already here.” A pause. “I guess I’ll need to place my bets on her, from now on. You are starting to cost me a lot.” He winks, leaving the other man alone in the hallway.

Fjord stares for a moment at the space where Caleb was standing and then runs a hand through his hair, sighing. When he steps into the living room, Beau is sitting on the couch in front of him, waving her hand and smirking. He mouths _fuck you_ at her and then flops down beside Caduceus onto the other couch.

“Maybe next time, Mr Fjord.”

Fjord stares at Caduceus’ placid smile with narrowed eyes, not completely sure if he is getting mocked or not. He doesn’t want to swell too much on that, actually. “Yeah.” He hums back, “Maybe next time.”

“Fey-ooord! Did you see the new car outside!?” He turns just in time to see Jester launching herself on the couch and falling on Beau, who takes her in with a choked _oof_ “Look, he even left a little note!”

She points at the card tossed on the coffee table between them.

_Please, try not to crash them._

“A real gentleman, uh?”

There’s a groan behind him as Nott strolls into the room with a bowl in her hands “Please Green Tusk, never dare to make a joke again. Ever.” She walks across the space and scoots between Jester and Beau “Turns out ceramic can get real hot in the microwave, but I saved almost everything.” She adds as she dumps the popcorns in Jester’s laps.

Yasha walks in front of them and grabs a handful before sitting beside Beau “No shoes on the furniture.” she bats the legs propped on the coffee table before facing the monk with an eyebrow raised in a vaguely threatening way. She nods again when Beau drops them on the floor and adds “Next time I’m going to take them down myself.”

“I’m sure she’d like that.” Beau’s attention snaps towards Caleb as he leans towards with his arms on the back of the couch where Fjord is sitting, with an impish smile. Before she can even answer he has already turned on his right and switched on the tv screen on the wall next to them. “So, I have speed-read through the files and this is what we know: our man arrived here, private jet and all, on Monday at midnight. No one had notified the airport and there is no trace in their database of the plane actually landing, and yet the runway was conveniently empty. Well, except for the Wildemount’s vehicles: not only were three fancy black jeep already waiting there, but our rich friend was attending the arrival too.”

Some photos of two men shaking hands and getting inside the cars pop up, “No luggage, no other witnesses of the meeting aside from what I suppose are their bodyguards. They took the long way and arrived at the mansion twenty-five minutes later through the hidden gates in the back. After that we know very little: the Gentleman’s people working inside the manor say that they both retreated into Mr. Wildemount’s study.”

The blueprint of the house appears, a red circle pinpointing the room, “The order was to not let anyone come near the office on the second floor: family, guards or working staff, no one. After almost three hours they came out and left for their own rooms. Here-” He walks near the screen and gestures at what appears to be the main bedroom adjacent to the office, before tapping on another room at the other end of the hallway “-and here.”

Jester whistles “Damn, nice house. I wonder how many other rooms are there. Or bathrooms.”

Caleb smiles and shows the complete map of the estate and the surrounding grounds that they saw earlier that day. “Couple hundred yards of gardens, two pools, twelve bedrooms, nine bathrooms, a huge library, two studies, two kitchens, multiple living rooms and the main hall where the gala is going to be held.”

Yasha’s eyes scan the plan, taking it all in. “That’s a lot of ground to cover in search for a single black case.”

“It is. But they were seen leaving the office empty handed, no one was spotted entering the room afterwards and it has been locked ever since, so it’s most likely to still be there. Either that, or it’s in one of their respective rooms, but that would have required some kind of deception trick or spell to disguise it.”

“Yeah about that,” Fjord is resting his face on his hands now, elbows propped on his knees “What was that sigil you said was on the briefcase earlier? Abjuration?”

“That’s my best guess, yes.” He points at the pictures of the runes engraved on the leather while rubbing the nape of his neck, the stretched fabric of his jumper showing a strip of fair skin above his jeans. “Could also be a high-level illusion, though, some sigils can be very similar, especially if they are old school. The photos are too blurry, I can’t make out the details. It’s probably a spell to conceal enchanted objects inside or just magic presence in general; for all we know even the briefcase could be fake and could just be a programmed illusion.”

He walks over and flops down next to Fjord “So, how do we want to do this?”

After a couple of seconds of complete silence, Yasha speaks again “How much time do we have?”

Caleb stares at the ceiling for a moment, and then down back at her “The gala starts at 7:30 p.m., so twenty-five hours and seventeen minutes.”

“Oh, we are _soo_ fucked.” Beau press the palm of her hands on her eyes, leaning back on the couch “So utterly fucked.”

“Come on, don’t say that Beau. We always find a way; we are good at these kinds of things!”

“Jessie, I love you, I really do, but this is above the paycheck. We have to make our way in through what will probably be one of the most guarded party ever, in one of the most surveilled houses of the city, find the equivalent of a needle in a haystack without even knowing what the needle is, and then get the hell out without anyone noticing.”

“And also, try not to die.”

“And also try not to die, thank you Caduceus.” A sigh, “We don’t even know where to start.”

Jester considers it and then stands and walks into the kitchen. She opens the duffle bag on the counter and rummages until she finds the invitation and makes her way back into the room to sit on the floor. “Caleb can you make one of your dancing lights please?”

He faintly tilts his head, curious “Sure. Where?”

“Under the table.”

“Under the table?” He shoots her an amused look, but with a snap a small beam of light appears under the glass of the coffee table nonetheless.

“Thank you.” She nods at him and places the invite on the surface before leaning down closer. She studies it for a minute, feeling the weight of the paper and running a finger along the words before smelling the inside of the envelope and quietly hums. She smiles and sits back on the couch, everyone’s eyes focused on her with various looks and different degrees of confusion and curiosity.

“Well, this thing here shouldn’t be too hard to duplicate. It’s handwritten, but the calligraphy is very simple, a basic cursive they teach to everyone attending wealthy academies in the capital. The paper is a little thicker than the common one, probably commissioned to one of the fancy shops in the library district. I might have something similar in my stash. And this-” she slightly licks one of the golden decorative lines framing the invitation “Oh. Nevermind, this is definitely _not_ gold. That’s disappointing.”

She mouths a _what?_ at Beau’s puzzled face before throwing the paper at Caleb “You should check if this is enchanted too, just in case.”

He catches it and imperceptibly starts moving his fingers in well-known motions as Nott speaks again “Why did you smell it?”

Jester turns at her “What?”

“Why did you smell it? The thing, before. The envelope.”

The tiefling snorts, “Oh, I was just fucking with you.”

“Ow, really?” the goblin replies a bit bummed out.

“Nah, I’m just joking” she laughs ruffling Nott’s hair “My mom always sprays some of her perfume on her letters and when I was little, she used to let me do it for her. Many invitations are sometimes scented with particular oils or incense, to let the receiver know who sent it before even reading it.”

“Oh, that’s nice. What does it smell like?”

“Which one? My mom’s or this one?”

“Mh, both.”

“You know, the coast is very famous for its big lavender fields, so my mom’s scent is a mix of that and citrus. It’s really good,” her eyes suddenly light up “Maybe I’ll ask her to send some for you!” She beams at Nott’s smile before continuing, “This one smells like the incense they always diffuse at the temples, and a bit of forest.”

“Well, nothing magic-related showed up.” Caleb sits up and places the envelope its content on the table again. “I guess it’s just very expensive paper.”

“Good! Then this won’t be a problem, as long as I use the right things.” She claps her hands delighted “See? Already one less problem to worry about.”

Fjord stretches and lays an arm behind Caleb shoulders “Well, we know how to get inside the house, but how do we even get past the gates?”

Caleb his head leans back, his hair brushing against the sturdy forearm behind his neck “I guess that’s what the Gentleman’s cars are for, we can’t risk using our own.”

“Might be too risky to show up all together, though.” Caduceus’s eyes are closed, hands interlaced across his own chest “We might be able to get in and forge our way inside the house, but it will probably raise some questions too. There’s seven of us, and that’s seven unfamiliar names on the guest list, even if we use fake ones. Plus, we usually tend to draw a lot of attention on us on already by ourselves.”

“We can split up, we don’t all need to be there, it would just complicate things.” Yasha rises and heads toward the hall, where the other three black bags had been tossed “One team distracts Wildemount and our mysterious man, the other finds the case. We get out, no one sees us arriving together and no one sees us leaving.”

She places the bags on the table “Besides, we still have to check what’s inside here, I’m sure we’ll find what we need.”

Nott and Jester immediately start emptying them on the table and on the floor underneath. There are various glass vial, some transparent and showing colorful fluids inside, others black and opaque. Nott opens one per type and sniffs the content before smirking.

“Various levels of cure wounds, shields, darkvision, stuff to deal with paralysis and poison, misdirection, that haste trick Caleb likes, blur, invisibility, and this-” she tips the container and tastes the liquid with the tip of her tongue before whistling “-well, this is pure rage.”

“Well, would you look at this.” There’s mischief in Jester’s voice as she takes out a couple of daggers from the bag she’s inspecting. They are black and opaque, smooth, almost velvety to the touch, and incredibly light to handle. “Nott I think these are for you! And these-” she can’t even finish the sentence before Beau bolts forward and snatches the throwing stars Jester is holding in her hands. She rolls her eyes but smiles at the monk. “Yeah, you figured.”

“The man surely has taste.” Beau’s eyes twinkle as she shifts the blades between her fingers like a poker chip.

There’s a warning _Don’t you even dare think about it_ right before one of them glides through the air and caresses Caleb’s left cheek before piercing the wooden doorframe behind him.

He looks at her with a blank face and gets a smirk in return and a wide-eyed “What? You need to try before using it.”

In the meantime, a series of other darts and knives has been arranged on the table, followed by other daggers, two short swords, a retractable staff and multiple arrows paired with a medium-sized bow.

Fjord grabs the last bag. “What’s in this then.” He opens it and pulls out a couple of small guns and grins “Nice.” He tries the weight in his hands for a moment before placing them next to the other things. He takes out a few more revolvers, a small crossbow with other arrows and then grabs a dark grey case on the bottom. He opens it and removes what looks like a black pen.

“Careful with that” he turns towards Yasha’s voice. Her gaze shifts from the pen to Caduceus, who is currently trying to hide a chuckle.

“Why, what does it do?” Caleb interjects.

She takes a breath and rolls up the sleeves of her hoodie, twisting her arm to show a jagged and irregular scar above her elbow. “A small swiss knife deceived as a pen.”

“That’s not a blade cut, though.”

“No, you are right, it’s not.” She rolls down the sleeve again and glares at Caduceus. She tilts her head and he rolls her eyes back at her.

“I said I was sorry! I swear it was a mistake!”

She shakes her head but she’s smiling, “It functions as a swiss knife on _one_ side. The other acts as an exiting point for a singular dart.”

“Oh.”

“Coated with acid.”

“ _Oh._ ”

“Yeah, well, I call dibs on that then.” Beau promptly leans across the table and tries to snag the pen from Fjord’s grip, but he manages to stretch his arm behind farther enough to keep it away from her. She glowers at him and then slumps back on the couch, “Spoilsport.”

Caleb reaches Fjord’s hand and grab the weapon before placing it back on the box and closing it “Don’t you worry, there’s one for everyone.”

“Okay we know how to get in and throw a party if we need to.” Nott is clumsily walking around the room trying not to drop the dagger barely balanced on her index finger, “We are inside now, who’s going where?”

Beau watches her and takes up the challenge, doing the same with one of the other knives “We have to break into the study so that’s your field. Who’s good at deceiving?”

Jester grins “Didn’t you do it last time, Beau? You and Caleb, right?”

Beau stumbles and her dagger falls on the ground “Oh, hell no. I’m not doing it again.”

Caleb smirks at her “Why not, _sister dear_? The old empire kids story, right?”

She scowls at him and picks up the blade “Don’t you even joke about it, I can’t survive another party with these kinds of assholes.”

“Well, I’m down with it, but I can’t go alone.”

“Fjord can come with you! You are both very charismatic.” Both Caleb and Fjord quickly turn to look at Jester “If Beau doesn’t want to come, then you two should go. And me and caduceus should definitely split up after last time. The others can sneak upstairs from outside and steal the briefcase.”

“You should go with them.” Caduceus chirps in, “You are more familiar than me with these types of events anyway.”

Jester’s eyes light up “Oh this is gonna be so much fun, I haven’t been to a proper gala in years. Beau you should really come with me.”

“I already said no, never again.”

Jesters pouts at her “Please, come on come on _come ooon_. I can’t go alone either!” She raises her eyebrows with a naughty grin “You can be my bodyguard.”

The others watch amused as Beau groans and rubs her temple “Okay, fine. But we leave as soon as we can, there are three rooms to check.”

“Yes, yes I promise.” Jester rolls her eyes but she’s still smiling “Okay so, me, Beau, Fjord and Caleb make our way in from the front door and get into the main ballroom-”

“-and we bounce soon afterward.”

“-yes, Beau, we bounce soon afterward. But we can’t all go up there, we can’t just disappear for the rest of the night. We’ll check the mysterious man’s bedroom, it’s the closest to the stairs.”

Yasha walks closer to the blueprint still on the screen “I’ll check Wildemount’s, it’s near the study so if Caduceus and Nott need help or if someone gets past they’ll have some cover.”

Fjord is scanning the map too, “How are you getting inside though? The only other entrance is on the back and I doubt it will not be unguarded.”

“I believe that has never stopped us before” Caduceus pats Fjord’s knee and joins Yasha and points at a faintly marked track that crosses the woods towards the south border of the estate. “We can use the private road like they did, leave the cars outside and stealth inside from the gardens in the back. There will surely be some guards there, but no one is supposed to know about that road so it’s our best chance.”

Yasha traces the pathway with her fingers up to the perimeter of the house “There’s a staircase used by the staff next to the backdoor that goes up to the second floor near the library, the office is close nearby.”

Nott’s hums, still playing around with the knife “Wait. How many cars do we have again? I don’t think we have enough for all of us if we can’t use ours too.”

Caleb considers it “Mh. We could just take the two parked outside here. Yasha can drive me and Fjord to the main entrance, Caduceus can drive with you, Beau and Jester and do the same. Once we are inside, you turn and drive back to the gates across the forest.”

“We get in, they get in, we find the briefcase and once they are done and ready with the cars, we all get the hell out _Holy shit_ ,” Beau sits back beside Jester and crosses her hands behind her head. “We might actually pull this off.”

“See! I told you we could do this.” Jester flicks her nose and then turns towards Caleb and Fjord, “And now, finally, the most important thing.”

Fjord leans over and stares at her with a vaguely concerned look “What are you planning in that trickster mind of yours?”

She too leans closer “It’s time to buy you some clothes.”

“Oh no, I’m not wearing a dress.” 

Jester turns to Beau and raises her eyebrow, “I know Beau, that’s why I said _‘you’_ ” she says gesturing at the two on the couch in front of them. “Us two can use rings of disguises. I’m not going to ruin a dress trying to hunt a case that probably has some weird magic inside.”

She smiles at beau’s relieved sigh and then looks at the others again “I know how these galas work, I know what kind of people will be there, and I definitely know that nothing in your closets is fancy enough.”

Fjords mutters a _I do have some fancy suits_ but it’s covered by Caleb’s laugh.

“I guess you’re right, Jessie.” The wizard stands up and pats the bag on still on the kitchen’s counter “These will surely help.”

“Navy blue will look great on you! Oh,” she pauses “we need to leave some money for the ring.”

“What ring?”

“The disguise ones? For me and Beau.”

Nott steps in and finally drops the dagger back in the bag “Don’t we have two already?”

“Yeah, Jessie.” Fjords adds in a mocking voice, “ _Don’t we have two already?_ ”

Jester bites her bottom lip and glances at Nott “ _Yeeeah._ Uh, about that. Hey guys, fun story this one! Do you remember that job we took four months ago? That one where we stole a bunch of stuff from the auction at that casino in Rexxentrum? Well, me and Fjord had an hour to fill before the start so we took a look around and-“

“Let me guess, you two lost it playing cards, didn’t you.” Caleb cuts her off, the corner of his lips quirking up.

Before she can even deny the accusation, Fjords interjects “ _She_ lost it playing cards.”

Yasha looks at her amused and shakes her head while beau Beau pinches the bridge of her nose, exasperated “Jessie…”

“You guys! I was winning, I swear! But everyone else was waaay richer and better than me at cheating. There was nothing I could do at that point! But we can buy a new one now! And technically, we aren’t even the ones paying for it so it’s like nothing ever happened.”

She looks at everyone with a smooth smile and then back at Caleb, who winks at her, “Well, luckily for us there’s enough money here for our new wardrobe _and_ a couple of rings.” He closes the bag and walks over the fireplace and sprinkles a few flakes of diamond dust on it and a light blue arcane symbol appears on the surface before dissipating. He flicks his hand and the back of the fireplace shifts and shows a small alcove behind. Caleb crouches and places the bag inside, before tapping it and turning it invisible again. As the bricks reset, he stands up and looks at the others “We can go buy them tomorrow morning if you are done with the invitation by then.”

Caduceus steps in and pats Caleb’s shoulder “We’ll assemble the rest of the gear in the meantime. Usual getup?”

“Yeah, maybe it’s better to bring the we-don’t-know-what-are-we-dealing-with getup.” Nott snorts “I don’t wanna get my hands cut off while I try to pick a lock.”

Caleb walks to her and ruffles her hair with a smile “No one is going to lose any limb, I swear.”

“So we are really doing this, uh?” Beau raises her eyebrow with a sigh.

“We don’t have much choice” Fjord’s voice is serious but there’s a cunning look in his eyes. It’s the life the all chose at one point after all. “We’ll make it work, we always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! heres chapter two, ive written this story up till the third one (and barely at that) so idk when the netx one(s) will come. not entirely happy with this -as it was written like, a year ago- so maybe ill come back to edit it again but in the mean time there you go!

**Author's Note:**

> finally reached a point where i said fuck it and decided to post the fic that, according to my word doc, i've started on the 29 of april of last year and havent touched again after last july. its not finished, i've just written a few chapters (i havent even reached the cool stuff i was planning) but i thought that maybe posting it will give me the strenght and will to continue it and finally get out of this writing slump ive fallen back into. never written a fic longer than a one shot so we'll see how it goes.  
> as i said i havent watched the show since august so things are set at that "state" (in modern times, obviously) class and characters wise.
> 
> i was re-reading this today for editing and well, not really satisfied with all of it but if i dont post it now i never will, so there you go i guess?  
> enjoy :)
> 
> im on twitter and tumblr, same @


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